“Socialization”

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A friend posted this graphic on Facebook yesterday:

Homeschool Domination
Created by: CollegeAtHome.com

She had a very polite inquiry from a teacher who admitted that he knew very little about home education.  He wondered about the standards and socialization.  I posted a link to HSLDA and then began a comment about my feelings on the matter.  It became five paragraphs long and I realized it would make a better blog post than a comment:

Like you, I think both sides get offended far too easily. However, when you start talking about people’s kids, especially to those who are so heavily involved in their child’s education as to homeschool, it’s hard not to take criticism personally. Alternatively, when you start talking about someone’s career, especially one in which so many people choose it because they are passionate about it, it’s hard not to take criticism personally.

I’ve been on several sides of that coin (yep, I think there are more than two). I taught high school science for 4 years in a public school, 4 years in a private school, and we now homeschool our kids. It’s funny to me that kids get in trouble at school for “being social” but the instant we pull one out, “socialization” becomes the main concern for the onlookers.  We are involved in a very active homeschool group.  They’re *so* active that we don’t have time to participate in all the things they do.

Additionally, the people who grow up to be “game changers” in the world are the ones who have highly-developed critical thinking skills and choose to think for themselves instead of just learning things so that they can pass the standardized test. Teachers these days have very little time to focus on the things that make kids “game changers”. I know there are LOTS of fantastic teachers in schools everywhere, but the restraints placed on them can be overwhelming to the point where they have to focus on the standards instead of the kids. I’ve been there, and it’s awful.

We choose to homeschool because our GT/ADHD son had his spirit absolutely broken last year by his teacher.  When I tried to discuss it, I received no support from her or the school. She was busy managing a classroom full of second graders and only had time to shake her finger at him, telling him all the things he was doing wrong (wiggling in his seat, asking lots of questions instead of sitting quietly and listening, struggling with fine motor skills). He came home everyday with his head down and then we fought the homework battle.  By the time that was done, it was dinner, shower and then to bed so that he could get up in time to be on a bus at 7:00 am.  He had very little time to be a little boy, to enjoy his family, and to do those important things that little boys need to do… things like playing legos, wrestling with his dad, riding his bike, and playing with his sister.

This year, my son has flourished, becoming a thoughtful, confident and articulate young man.   He has time to explore the things that pique his curiosity while learning the basics (the three R’s, social studies, science and music) in ways and at a pace that suit his learning style and personality.  He gets more exercise, more sleep, eats healthier, and has more time for creative play while at the same time bearing more responsibilities for helping manage our home.

We will never get these years back. I have the deeply joyful privilege of being beside him to help him learn and grow. Honestly, I had no idea that I would love homeschooling the way I do. The best part is that we have family time like we’ve never had before homeschooling.  And, really…. “socialization” will never trump that.

Do you Pinterest?

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pinterest_badge_redI’ve been Pinterest-ing for maybe a year and a half, now.  I’m a visual person, so I enjoy having an image to remember an idea.  At first, it was overwhelming and I only had a few boards but was trying to PIN ALL THE THINGS!!!

Then, after a while, it was still overwhelming and I felt inadequate because I wasn’t hand-crafting all of our Christmas gifts and sewing all of our clothes and baking all our bread and I was feeding my family ridiculously horrible things like SUGAR! and GLUTEN!…. So I kicked self-righteous Pinterest to the curb.

A few months ago, I took a machete to my list of Facebook friends in an effort to privatize and declutter my life.  I drew a line in the sand – if I was in your town, and I thought I would pick up the phone to call you, then you got to stay on the list.  If not, then I figured you probably didn’t want to read  about the minutae of my life, anyway.

I figured out that I could do something similar on Pinterest.  Every time I saw something that I had no application in my life – quilting, gluten-free recipes, tattoos, flying spaghetti monsters – I clicked through and unfollowed the entire board.  I unfollowed a few people, too.

Like many things in life, I gave up on it because it wasn’t perfect.  God has been teaching me a few lessons about that particular attitude.  Now, I’ve realized that it will never be perfect (like life here on planet Earth, in general), and instead I’ve tweaked it so that I can use it as a very effective tool.  I added some very specific boards so that I could sort my pins more effectively – I have a board for each homeschool subject, boards for various types of recipes, and even boards for each holiday and season.  While I haven’t gone back and completely reorganized everything I’d previously pinned, I can at least find my recent ones more easily.

It helps, too, that I’ve admitted to myself that I’ll probably never go back and actually do 95% of what I’ve pinned…. but if I ever decide I want to, I know where to find it.  It’s electronic hoarding!  But that’s okay, because it doesn’t have to be boxed up and moved and unpacked and reorganized every three years!

In other news, I’ll be meeting a friend-of-a-friend to figure out what I want this blog to look like.  Despite being “a visual person”, I’m absolutely terrible when it comes to figuring out colors and designs.  She recently re-did a friend’s blog, and I think she did a great job.  Looking forward to seeing what she can do for mine!

Archi-who-dees?

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(That’s what Jet said when we told him we were taking him to the Archimedes museum a few weeks ago.  If I was the perfect homeschooling mother, then he would have intimate knowledge of Archimedes’ principles. But I’m not.  So he didn’t. And still doesn’t, as far as I know.)

Knight had a long weekend, so we piled into the car and headed south.  After finding a place to park our behemoth minivan (oxymoron! but our minivan really is HUGE here in the Land of Matchbox Cars), we wandered toward the museum.

We stopped to investigate the fountain depicting Diana, the Greek goddess of animals:

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Then we moved into the museum.  Three cheers for field trips on a weekday – we had the place to ourselves!

This little lever moves that huge ball up and down in the water!

This little lever moves that huge ball up and down in the water!  Who cares about “displacement”?

This exhibit was one of Banana’s favorites.  She circled back to it several times while Jet was working on this:

The forerunner of combinational analysis, this is Archimedes' puzzle.

The forerunner of combinational analysis, this is Archimedes’ puzzle.

Archimedes’ puzzle has 14 pieces.  That’s it.  With the aid of a computer, one professor discovered that there are 536 possible ways to put it together.  Jet and Knight spent about 20 minutes and found one.

Fun!!

Fun!!

Another awesome exhibit slowly spun a plate of sand while the kids used a knob to drag something through it in a straight line.  The result?

A spiral!

A spiral!

After walking around Ortigia (the small town we were in, just south of Siracusa), we turned to trusty TripAdvisor to recommend a place for lunch. Knight ordered a Heineken, but forgot to specify that he wanted the small one.

It's okay. I helped.

It’s okay. I helped.

Banana enjoyed spaghetti with ragu (meat sauce), but I think she mostly enjoyed the cheese.

Sprinkle, sprinkle, DUMP.

Sprinkle, sprinkle, DUMP.

Jet’s choice, as usual, is pizza diavola (pizza with salame piccante – “spicy” salami – the Italian version of pepperoni).

This is our usual view when Jet has pizza in front of him.

This is our usual view when Jet has pizza in front of him.

We meandered our way to the port, where a huge 3-masted sailboat was docked.  The kids called it a “pirate ship”.

I think this ship is supposed to be theirs.

I think this ship is supposed to be theirs.  Tenacious, indeed.

A couple of goofy moments on a HUGE anchor nearby:

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, but not least, the Syracuse Cathedral. This cathedral is particularly spectacular because it is actually the Temple of Athena built by ancient colonists during the 5th century BC.  It’s a fascinating blend of ancient columns, baroque architecture and modern conveniences.

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No trip is complete without a stop for gelato….

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“Limone, per favore!” Jet orders his own, and it’s the same flavor every time.

Our pink Banana prefers strawberry.

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Middle of the Night

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Green DoubtsMy doubts about homeschooling were purely selfish. I knew that, and I recognized that I had to allow God to break me of them in order for this homeschooling gig to be successful for our entire family.  He needed to grow and stretch my heart a little more.

I didn’t want to be a 24/7/365 mom. I didn’t want to wear denim jumpers and be covered in glitter and glue. I didn’t want to spend all day at the table speaking in saccharin-sweet tones to our children. I envisioned utter chaos. We only have two children, but I just *knew* that they could (and WOULD) morph into the same loud craziness as 19.

I told God all of this, repeatedly. I know He heard me.

One night, I woke up at 3 a.m. and couldn’t get back to sleep. I felt that God was giving me certain scriptures to read to help me determine His plan for us regarding homeschooling. I’d never had anything like that happen to me; I kind of thought I was going crazy.

So I tossed and turned for about an hour, arguing with God.

I’m not getting up in the middle of the night to read my Bible.

My kids are going to be up in just a few hours and I need my sleep!

This doesn’t actually happen to people, does it? I mean, I’ve heard people say that God woke them up in the night but I didn’t really believe them. I thought they were just trying to make themselves look like better Christians or something.

Eventually, though, I gave in and got up. I tiptoed downstairs, grabbed my Bible and turned on a lamp. This is what He gave me:

Matthew 6:10  Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Not my will but Thy will.  First and foremost, I have to recognize that God has a plan for me and that my job is to follow through and walk in His will.

Phillipians 4:19  And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

God will provide for ALL of my needs – financial and emotional (time for me, patience with my kids)– as we walk in His will.  If He calls me to it, He will see me through it.  It won’t be easy, but He will help.  Not only that, but He provides needs “according to the riches of his glory” – He owns EVERYTHING already!  Imagine the riches He is waiting to bestow on me!  They are not all financial; many, many things are more precious than gold.

Isaiah 40:31.  But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

WAIT upon the Lord – for HIS timing – so that we can run and not grow weary, we can soar on wings as eagles, we will not faint.  We are not going to trudge through life.  He has called us to RUN and SOAR!

Zechariah 4:4-7   4 I (Zerubbabel) asked the angel who talked with me, “What are these, my lord?” 5 He answered, “Do you not know what these are?” “No, my lord,” I replied.  6 So he said to me, “This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty. 7 “What are you, mighty mountain? Before Zerubbabel you will become level ground. Then he will bring out the capstone to shouts of ‘God bless it! God bless it!’”

God is calling me to this to increase my dependence on Him.  He will show that it is through HIS power and HIS mercy that I will overcome my fears and teach our children what HE wants them to know, to become who HE has planned for them to be.  The capstone will be my and my children’s relationship with Him, and there will be shouts of “God bless it! God bless it!”

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

God has provided me with life experiences – education, jobs, people who have poured into me – for such a time as this.  I can have confidence that God has been working “in all things for the good of those who love Him”, not just for “someday” but for right now!  I look back and see that HE has been in control and has orchestrated events in my life that lead me to this time in our lives, so that I have experiences I can rely on.  Planning and teaching are second nature to me.  I can rely on my experience in those areas, and let them go so that I can focus on LOVING and listening to our children.

Colossians 1:28-29 (Amplified)  Him we preach and proclaim, warning and admonishing everyone and instructing everyone in all wisdom ([a]comprehensive insight into the ways and purposes of God), that we may present every person mature (full-grown, fully initiated, complete, and perfect) in Christ (the Anointed One). For this I labor [[b]unto weariness], striving with all the [c]superhuman energy which He so mightily enkindles and works within me.

I don’t have to worry that I won’t have enough energy.  If I plan to rely on my own energy, my own strength, I will undoubtedly fail.  If, however, I march forward in faith that God will supply me with HIS energy because I am walking on HIS plan, then I have absolutely nothing to fear!

I didn’t go back to sleep that night.  And here’s the real kicker about God waking me up in the night:  I had been using my busy schedule as an excuse to avoid spending true one-on-one time with Him about this decision.  So He arranged it for me.  Seems like I could have taken a lesson from Jonah.

Linked up to Homeschool Blog & Tell!Homeschool-Blog-and-Tell-March-2013

Homeschooling? Isn’t that crunchy-granola-hippie stuff?

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Technically, there are LOTS of reasons why we homeschool…. but, for now, I thought I’d let you in on the beginning of the process for us.

Waaaaaay back in the day (a whole four+ years, which really does seem a lifetime ago), when Knight joined the Army, we looked at our future and knew we would be moving frequently.  We also knew that our kids would be switching schools with each move. We said, “If the time ever comes when we find our kids in a school that isn’t meeting their needs, Mom can homeschool.  After all, she’s been teaching for 8 years.”  And I said, “Of course.  We always want to do what’s best for our children.  We LOOOOOOVE them and they are God’s preshus gifts to us and He has charged us with teaching them”. And then I shrugged and went on my merry way.

In New Jersey, our first duty station, Jet started kindergarten at the local public school.  There were issues in the classroom, and I was overwhelmed with moving and being a new Army wife and all that comes with that. I addressed those issues the best I knew how at the time.  Toward the end of that school year, Knight and I looked at each other and said, “This isn’t working.  There has to be something better.”  And God dropped a job in my lap and led us to a private Christian school.  So we enrolled Jet there and put Banana in daycare and I worked.  And God saw that it was good.

When we moved here, we enrolled Jet in the DoD school here on base.  And…. things started to go downhill.  I was overwhelmed with moving to a whole new COUNTRY and staying home instead of working and the Army sending Knight hither and yon for weeks at a time.  We dealt with the issues as they came up, but some of them were repeats from first grade.  Jet was easily distracted, couldn’t stay on task, wiggled in his seat, wiggled OUT of his seat, had horrible penmanship and ABHORRED any task that required him to write.

He came home everyday discouraged and defeated, and it broke my heart.  I realized that, if I spent all day everyday in an environment where someone was telling me I was doing it ALL WRONG, then I’d probably feel that way, too.

So we began to pray about homeschooling.

 

Ch-ch-ch-chaaaanges!

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It’s hard to know where to start after so much time away.  Our life here looks pretty different than it did the last time I wrote.

Things have been rockin’ and rollin’ here in sunny Sicilia.  We absolutely love living here, and the things God has done for us have been nothing short of miraculous.  He’s truly been blessing our socks off!

Probably the biggest change is that we’re homeschooling our kids.  Jet is 8 now, and in third grade.  He attended the DoD school on base last year for second grade… and we decided that I could do better.  God really had to do a number on my heart about that; I wasn’t sure I could be a 24/7/365 mom.  Turns out, He knew what I needed, and has provided much, much more than we ever could have dreamed!  I absolutely LOVE homeschooling Jet!  It’s not all sunshine and roses, but it has been the best decision we’ve made for our family in a long time.

I have to change our daughter’s name for this blog.  Coming up with a name for her was hard.  While she does love to sing.. and talk… and yell… and holler… and laugh… the name “Songbird” somehow conjures this delicate, tiny creature… and she’s so NOT.  God has given her a ginormous personality!!  It’s a constant balance for me of disciplining her vs. allowing her to be who God has created her to be.  Our nickname for her is Banana, so I think I’ll stick with that.

I’ve been wanting to get back into this blogging thing for several weeks now.  Not quite sure where I’ll find the time, but I’ll find it somewhere…  More coffee!!  And Facebook has *destroyed* my writing ability; I now think of my life in two-sentence status updates.

We’re off this morning to do the Base 2 Base run/walk.  I’m walking 7.2 miles and Knight’s running his first half marathon!!

It’s the little things that spell “I love you”.

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So, one of the things I really get irritated about, every single morning, is that my beloved programmable coffee maker doesn’t keep time correctly here in Italy.  Something to do with the cycle differences and Hertz and blah blah whatever.  I mean, I really do understand it, being a science teacher and all… but the truth is that I really don’t care.  I just get cranky about my coffee maker not having the coffee ready when I get downstairs at 5:40 every morning.

Also, I get that this is completely a first-world, white-girl problem.  But still.  I had fallen so hard for this sexy beast of a coffee maker – I even wrote a whole slobbery-kiss-type post about it –  that for it to let me down here in Italy is just truly a heart-breaker.

I haven’t even looked for a programmable coffee maker that runs on 220-volt power source.  I mean, this is Italy.  They drink espresso, not café Americano.  Don’t get me wrong; the espresso is delicious!  And… peppy! But it’s not ready when I come downstairs at 5:40 in the early blasted morning.  Even if it was, I just… love my whole coffee routine.  And I finally perfected the taste. (Brewed a little strong, so that I can toss a few pieces of ice in it to cool it down faster so I can drink it sooner…. it’s a science, I tell you!)

So my new routine is to stumble down the stairs and hit the button on the coffee maker.  Then I stumble to my recliner and plop down, waiting for the coffee maker to beep, telling me that the coffee is ready.  Eventually I drag myself out of the recliner and go pour a cup…

And I just hate that part.

I don’t really know why, except that one of the things I really loved about my coffee being ready when I came downstairs is that I could pour a cup and go sit in my chair for 15 or 20 minutes, sipping and getting ready for my day, without getting back up again until it was time to get Jet out of bed.

This morning, my extra-amazing husband was getting ready to leave for PT (physical training), as usual.  And, as usual, we barely exchanged three words, because we’ve learned over the last ten years of marriage that it’s best if we don’t speak to each other early in the morning.  It never ends well.

Before he left this morning, though, he did something that wasn’t part of the “as usual”.  That amazing man, the one that I pledged my heart and life to, lo those many years ago, brought me a cup of coffee, complete with ice cubes, to my recliner.

I get choked up and teary-eyed, writing about it even now.

He probably doesn’t even know what he really did…  Just another example of how blessed I am.

Knight, te quiero, con todo mi corazón, todo que soy, y todo que seré.

 

Hypocrites-R-Us

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Approximately twenty-five years ago, I sat at a table in my great-grandmother’s house, distrustfully eyeing a brussels sprout that had been boiled and then slathered in butter.  It was a classic wild-west showdown, with my dad on one side, insisting that I eat that solitary, disgusting mini-brain, and me on the other, insisting that such a thing was never intended to be tasted by anyone.

Fast-forward to modern times… today, to be exact.  I sat at the table in our house, sticking by our iron-clad rule that everyone at the table must take at least one taste of each item on his/her plate.  (Corollaries to the rule include that the taste must be, at minimum, approximately the size of a dime and must be done where a grown-up can see it.  One must chew and swallow the taste.  One is allowed to hold one’s nose and take multiple gulps of water following said taste.  One is not allowed to whine about the taking of the taste nor about one’s opinion of said taste.  One may politely say, “I don’t really care for this” and proceed to make oneself a dinner of yogurt, cheese and crackers.)

Someone on Pinterest had the gall to post a delicious-looking picture of brussels sprouts that had been roasted with butternut squash and bacon and balsamic vinegar.  Something inside me clicked, and somehow I decided that, being a mature woman of thirty-mumblety-mumble years, I should give brussels sprouts another chance.  This recipe even had a Plan B (for Butternut Squash).  Also, I’ve discovered that roasting nearly anything makes it taste MUCH better than boiling it.  I’m trying to be healthier.  Brussels sprouts were on sale at the commissary this week.

All of these things combined to create the perfect storm whereby I made roasted brussels sprouts and butternut squash for dinner this evening.  Except, we aren’t eating bacon because we are being healthy.  And I didn’t have balsamic vinegar.  So I just seasoned them up with garlic, salt, pepper, ginger and olive oil, like I normally would for butternut squash, and threw them in the oven at a toasty-roasty 425 for awhile.

Twenty-five years ago, I finally ate that stupid brussels sprout.  And I hadn’t touched another one since.

Tonight, I was mentally crossing my fingers, pitting my somewhat developed cooking skills against the palate of my younger days, giving myself an internal pep-talk that somehow this recipe would make the difference for my brussels-sprout-hating self.

I’m sorry to say that it didn’t.  I tried, though!  I promise… I did.  I choked down three or four of the little buggers, and then decided that I’m a grown-up, and I don’t have to eat them if I don’t want to.

And then I watched my seven-year-old son gather his courage to take his bite.  To his credit, he didn’t whine.

He did, however, ask me to cut a half of a brussels sprout in half, which I most willingly did.

He gripped his fork in one hand and his water cup in the other.  He took several deep breaths.  Then he changed tactics, setting his cup on the table and gripping his nose between thumb and forefinger. He took another deep breath, staring down the offending vegetable.

Meanwhile, I’m stifling giggles, refusing to make eye contact with Knight.  He and I share a history of brussels-sprout-hatred.  I’m quickly sipping wine in an effort to keep from losing it completely, which, in retrospect, may not have been the wisest choice…

Finally, with precision and speed, Jet squared his shoulders, shoved the fork in his mouth.  Wrinkling his nose, he chewed and swallowed as quickly as humanly possible, and then slurped his water for all he was worth.

I don’t know why we do this to our kids.  I guess it’s in the parenting manual… under Maybe They’ll Like It, sandwiched between Because I Said So and It’s Good For You, That’s Why.

I approach these things with a measure of trepidation.

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This morning, Jet randomly asked me, “Don’t you think our bodies are weird?”

These questions always make me a little nervous.  I never know where they’re headed.  Is he expecting a certain answer from me?  What, exactly, is cooking in that little brain of his?  Is this a conversation I even want to have?  Maybe he needs to talk to his daddy about this?

More and more, I’m seeing a little boy/young man emerge where my baby boy once was.  His sense of humor has developed, and he truly makes me laugh sometimes…. and not just because he wasn’t intending to be funny.

But I firmly believe that every moment is a teachable moment, so, this morning, I bravely answered him with, “Well, I think it’s pretty cool the way God designed our bodies just perfectly to do all the things we need them to do.  Some things, they do without us even thinking about it!”

Jet: “Yeah! Like how we have two legs… it would be really tiring to only have one leg, hopping so much to get from place to place.  I mean, you’d have to lean against a lot of walls to rest, and it would just take forEVER to get anywhere!”

Me: “Well, yes… that’s true!”

Jet: “Or how you have two hands!  I mean, can you imagine only having one hand?!”

Me: “Well, no -”

Jet: “It would be really hard to pick up certain things, like heavy things!”

Me:  ”Yes, it wou-”

Jet:  ”Or to do other things!”

Me:  ”Like hug -”

Jet:  ”Like operate a crane!”

Me: “… Um, well, I guess you do need two hands to -”

Jet: “Of COURSE you do, Mommy!”

Sometimes I wonder if I’m even necessary for certain conversations….